I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
