My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
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