What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there was a trapeze. enough said
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
