You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
