So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
