im gay
i know
yea but for you.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
