being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
