I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
try to milk me bitch
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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