drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
