Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
