ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
