You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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