Whod you bang
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize