Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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