So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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