i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
