i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
