no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
