I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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