i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize