so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
ttyl tear gas
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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