Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
There are leaves in my underwear?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
