Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
