I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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