Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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