Plan B is the new Plan A
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
