i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
