Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
