i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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