So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Small penises have feelings too.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
