my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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