remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
