thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
