i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
