Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
