So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
