so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
