i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
