You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
