So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
