if i can run in heels then i can drive
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
