It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
How external is "for external use only"?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
