i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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