i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
