Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
