So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
well you can't waste a boner
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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