i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
