he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
