I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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