i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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