Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We left the knife in your bed.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
