i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
