I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
