hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
