so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
