and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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