So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I smell stomach acid.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
