i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize