too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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