Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
