so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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