Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
