im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
