therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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