he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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