If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
