Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
