I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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